Happy Birthday
by NoahFan4Ever
Summary: "You chance a glance at the calendar, already knowing the date yet still wanting to be certain. July 1st. Your birthday. You stare at for a long while, before turning away and sighing. It hurts, it hurts so so bad, to know that just like every other year before this, your birthday would be forgotten once again in favor of your brother's."
1. Chapter 1

Hello! :D This story is inspired and based off on bits and pieces of my life. Some things are made up and/ or exaggerated, while others are mostly true. Yesterday, June 23rd, was my birthday. Only two people, excluding immediate family, wished me a happy birthday.

I do not own Hetalia or any of its characters. I also do not own the cover picture.

I am neither a good writer nor a good author.

There is minor profanity, which I did not censor due to my belief that it may take away from the story a little. This is also unedited/ un-beta-d so please excuse my mistakes.

This is my first Hetalia fic.

* * *

You wake up, a sweaty tangle of limbs and blankets. Sunlight streams through the thin window shades and you groggily sit up, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. You slip out of bed, your feet softly padding across the carpeted floor, clutching the stuffed polar bear that you're too old for now, yet you can't bear to put it away. You yank open the shades. It's a beautiful day.

Looking outside, you smile.

Until with sinking dread, you realize what day it is.

You chance a glance at the calendar, already knowing the date yet still wanting to be certain.

July 1st.

Your birthday.

You stare at for a long while, before turning away and sighing. It hurts, it hurts so so bad, to know that just like every other year before this, your birthday would be forgotten once again in favor of your brother' know you should finally get used to the fact that you'll always be forgotten, but for some reason you can't help but continue to let yourself hope, and wish, and dream.

You know you really should stop. It just makes everything hurt so much more, when you realize that once again, you've been cast aside for your brother.

This year, as if they were rubbing salt in an open wound, everyone would be throwing a surprise party for Alfred on your birthday. You wonder why the world hates you so much.

You drag yourself to the bathroom, gazing at your reflection in the mirror. The remains of tear tracks run down your face, somewhat crusted from drying overnight. The whites of your eyes are stained a pinkish red. The bandages wrapped tight around your wrist are a dull burgundy color, and putting pressure on it stings. You faintly remember crying yourself to sleep last night, thinking about how everything is so unfair. You're pathetic. You splash water on your face to remove all evidence of your tears and change the dirty bandages. You practice smiling, plastering a small grin on your face. It's not as vibrant or bright as Alfred's 1000-mega-watt-Hollywood-smile, and it seems oddly out of place on your face, but despite being so obviously fake, you know no one would ever notice or even care.

You wonder if you're being melodramatic. You hope you're not. You really dislike stuff like that.

You shake your head, dismissing the thought, and go back to practice your smiling. After a few tries, you think you're good. Or at least, you're really sick of practicing. You stare at the mirror one last time, forcing the corners of your mouth upwards.

Walking out, you force yourself to smile.

You greet you're brother in the kitchen, who's up surprisingly early.

"Hey Mattie!" Alfred shouts back, hyped up on coffee and sugary breakfast foods, "Guess what?

"W-what Al?" You can't help but hope that he remembered.

"It's..." he stops, as if remembering it was a secret he wasn't supposed to tell, before continuing, "it's three days until my birthday!"

You feel the disappointment and hurt bubble up in your chest, making it hard to breathe. "Y-yeah," you say, forcing yourself to just keep on smiling, "that's right. Do you want any pancakes?"

"Hell yeah!" Alfred shouts, pumping his fist in the air. "You're awesome bro!"

"...Thanks."

As you flip the sizzling batter, you force yourself to smile.

It's during breakfast when your phone chimes, signaling that you got a new text. You quickly put down your fork, swallowing your mouthful of pancakes and syrup, which sticks in your throat and slides down feeling like sandpaper. You grab your phone and swish your finger across the screen.

_'Keep ur bro busy so we can get ready 4 d party. Bring him 2 Arthurs 12'_

"Hey Mattie! Who texted you?" Alfred hollers, pancake bits spraying out of his mouth.

You suppress the urge to either cringe or sigh, knowing that you'll have to clean up his disgusting mess, "...a- a friend," you mumble.

"Oh," he says, obviously not really listening, "cool. I'm going out; see ya later!"

You nod, turning back to your phone. The words glare back up at you, reminding you of your task.

"Alfred, w- wait!" You hear yourself say, "I'll come with you."

"Sure, whatever. Hurry up then!"

You jump out of your chair, scrambling to put on your shoes.

Hurrying after your brother, you force yourself to smile.

You're sprinting after your brother, trying to tug him, well anywhere, besides Arthur's. You, unfortunately, are completely failing.

"But Mattie," he whines, shaking you off once again, "I'm booorrreeed! And Artie's fun to mess with!"

You rack your brain for something to distract him with. "Alfred... why don't I… I… what about if I treat you to McDonald's?"

"Awesome!" Despite having just eaten breakfast 30 minutes ago, his eyes light up and he grabs your arm, probably dragging you to the first McDonald's he can find, forgetting all about wanting to go to Arthur's.

Stumbling along, you force yourself to smile.

...

You leave the place $73.94 dollars lighter. You shuffle out the doors, your head spinning a little from spending such a long time smelling the putrid odor grease.

"That was awesome, right Mattie?" Alfred bounces along next to you, seemly unaffected, even though he practically inhaled the mounds of grease soaked food you bought for him, "Hey, do you wanna go do something? We can go to the park."

"S-sure," you nod, relieved that he at least he's not trying to get you to go to Arthur's with him.

"Great!" He cheers, and once again yanks you along to wherever he feels like going. You trip over your own feet, trying to keep up with his long strides.

As you try to regain your balance, you force yourself to smile.

...

You end up playing one-on-one basketball, to which you lose at miserably. Both of you lost track of the score awhile ago, maybe midway through the game, though you guess it doesn't matter, since you haven't scored a single point anyway. You sit in a patch of shade, panting and gasping for breathe, sweat running down your face.

Alfred, on the other hand is jumping around, whooping for joy over winning the game. "Did you see that awesome dunk?"

"Y-yeah," you start to reply, but he talks over you, not really expecting an answer.

"—I beat ya by like a thousand points!" he continues excitably, "…but great game though," he adds, almost as an afterthought.

"Thanks," you glance at your phone. _10:12._ Still about 2 more hours to go. "D-do you want to—"

"—Let's go to the movies! There's this cool superhero movie that just came out! Come on!"

Hurrying after him, you force yourself to smile.

...

By the time the movie is over, it's 11:46. You have 14 minutes to get Alfred to the party. You wonder how you'll be able to get Alfred, probably one of the loudest people in your group of friends, to listen to you, when nobody ever does anyways.

"Hey Mattie," Alfred says, startling you out of your thoughts, "wanna go to Artie's now?"

You almost breathe a sigh of relief at how easy this is. It's almost like he knows. "Sure," you tell him, as the two of you begin your trek towards Arthur's house.

"So…" Alfred begins, "Where do you think everyone is? I haven't seen anybody all day."

You tense up for a moment, trying to think of a good excuse. In the end, all you say is, "I-I don't know…"

"Oh. Maybe they're throwing me an early birthday party! That'll be awesome! What do you think, Mattie?"

"I—"

"—Hey, I just realized whose birthday was today!"

You look up, surprised. Happiness wells up in your chest and you open your mouth to thank him for remembering. "Y-yeah. Th—"

"It's Leon's birthday! You know, Yao's little brother? They went to China though for the summer so something…"

It hurts so much you want to vomit. Tears prickle behind your eyes and the struggle to keep them insides makes your eyes burn.

"Hey," Alfred stops mid-ramble, peering at your face, a slightly worried and concerned look on his face, "You okay?"

Blinking back tears, you force yourself to smile.

"Y-yeah, I'm o-okay." He opens his mouth to say something, but you cut him off. "Look, there's Arthur's house."

He looks unconvinced, but doesn't say anymore about it. "Cool, come on Mattie, let's go inside." He reaches to grab your arm but you shrug away.

"O-okay. You go first. I- I just remembered I need to do s-something." Turning, you run, not wanting to see everyone celebrate Alfred's birthday and forget all about you, ignoring Alfred calling your name.

...

You lie in bed, curled up under your blankets. The small digital clock by your bedside reads exactly 12, and you know by now Alfred's probably at the party, having the time of his life, while you're just sitting here, shaking and alone. You're such a pathetic, stupid, worthless piece of shit. Today, you're going to end this life of hell.

You're trembling hands clutch a bottle of Tylenol as if it were your lifeline. Such an ordinary, cliché, generic method. Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes and uncap the bottle.

You pour out fourteen little pills.

Bring them to your mouth.

And place them in

The bottle again.

And with a small cry, you fling it across the room with all your might. The plastic bottle hits the wall with a hollow thump, tiny pills scattering all across the floor.

Slowly, you get up.

Go to the bathroom.

Stare at the mirror.

Try to smile.

Fail.

Cry.

...

You're not sure how long you're standing there, but after a while, you feel two arms, smelling of slightly of hamburgers, sweat, chocolate, and the Aloe Vera soap that you bought from the dollar-store last week, circle around you. He buries his face into your shoulder, and you can feel him shaking, trying not to cry too.

"Hey Mattie," his voice is small, nervous, "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry… and…

Happy Birthday."

* * *

The End.

For now...


	2. Chapter 2

Hello again! :D Happy Fourth of July, (Belated) Canada Day, (Belated) Hong Kong National Day, (Belated) Belarus National Day, (Early) France National Day, and (Early) Belgium National Day! (Although I'm told that the Belgium National Day is not celebrated, and I'm not sure the Belarus National Day is either. If you know, please tell me.) I did not forget Canada Day, I just did not finish this in time to post it then, so I decided to post it today.

I do not own Hetalia or any of its characters. I also do not own the cover picture.

I am neither a good writer nor a good author. The first chapter, since some believe it was actually good, was probably a fluke.

There is minor profanity, which I did not censor due to my belief that it may take away from the story a little. This is also unedited/ un-beta-ed so please excuse my mistakes.

This is not really a sequel, but instead, more of the same story with a different POV. This is sadly slightly longer than the first part. It rambles a bit, but that's because of the POV it is in. I'm pretty sure most people can guess whose POV this is in.

* * *

I wake up, way too early for my liking— why the flying fries am I up so early?—, and I'm laying half-on, half-off my bed, the blankets wrapped around me like some sorta mummy cocoon thing, my alarm clock steadily beeping away like a ticking time bomb— yes, I still use a traditional alarm clock, but only for stuff that's really important. I try to get out of the coffin of blankets but it tangles even further and like "Holy shish kabobs! I'm being sucked in!" and then I manage to escape by falling out of bed with a loud and painful thump, Tony— he's not a stuffed toy! He's friggin' real!— landing on top of me.

"Ow…" I groan, rubbing the now slightly sore spot on my head. I push myself up by my elbows, struggling to kick those evil blankets— I swear, they were trying to suffocate me or something!— away, the beeps of my also evil alarm clock— I think he's the mastermind of this whole thing— beeping ominously. After a totally epic battle, I scramble to my feet, and slam my hand over the alarm clock's off button, creating a couple of tiny cracks— meh, I never liked that stupid thing anyway—, and come away victorious!

Grinning widely, I yank open the cords of the window blinds, and the long plasticy thing on the top of the shades— it's that thingy that holds the whole curtain together and keep it screwed into the window ledge— rattle from the force. I wince, staring at the thin plastic, hoping that the whole curtain wouldn't fall off or somethin' because if so, Mattie will kill me, or at least beat me with his hockey stick! Seriously, he's freakin' scary with that thing! Anyway, it doesn't, thankfully. I breathe a sigh of relief, and slide open the window. Pushing out the screen, I stick my head out, breathing in the fresh summery air, soaking in the warm rays beating down from the sun. Yes, it's a bit dangerous, but c'mon, it's summer! It's the first of July! It's three days before my own awesome birthday! And today's also Leon's birthday, and some days before Francis's, Natalya, and Emma's birthday! ...And Mattie's birthday too!

Oh, right… that's why I'm up at like, 6:23 AM. 6:24 now. I'm gonna be throwing Mattie a freakin' awesome surprise party and everything! He thinks he's helping to throw me a surprise party but guess what? He's been tricked! It was all a plan to fool him into thinking we forgot his birthday— which… we have done before…— But we're going to make it up to him this year! He's not the only one who can keep secrets! This is going to be epic!

...

I'm hyped up on coffee and donuts and sugary sweet pastries and coffee and what's taking Mattie so long? Holy Coke, he's taking fooorrreeeeevvvvver!

"You're… you're up early Al," I hear suddenly. I swivel in my seat, and see Mattie, who is clearly surprised by how early I'm up. Take that Mattie, I can get up earlier than you!

"Hey Mattie!" I shout, "Guess what?"

"W-what Al?"

"It's…" I snap my mouth shut, because shiiiizzzz… I almost friggin' told him about the surprise party! "It's three days before my birthday!" I let out a nervous laugh.

I watch him deflate slightly, and I try to pretend I don't notice, that I don't feel even the slightest bit bad. "Y-yeah," he says, as I watch his smile droop slightly at the corners, "that's right. Do you want any pancakes?"

I tell myself to play it cool. "H*ll yeah!" I shout, pumping my fist in the air, "You're awesome bro!"

He hesitates for a second before speaking "Thanks."

As he flips his delicious, better-than-crack— not that I tried any, of course, just saying, it's probably better than it— pancakes, I watch him force himself to smile.

...

His phone chimes, the chorus of 'American Idiot'— Ha! I knew he liked it! It's totally better than 'Canadian, Please'... and no I don't have the chorus of that song on my phone. Really!— and he grabs his phone and opens his message, which I already know who sent it and what it says. Great going, Gilbert!

"Hey Mattie!" I feign ignorance, "Who texted you?"

He mumbles, "a- a friend."

"Oh, cool," I say, cause what else am I suppose to say, and besides, we need to get rollin', "I'm going out; see ya later!"

He nods, before turning back to his phone. Shooooot… he didn't fall for the bait?

"Alfred, w-wait!" Yes, he fell for it! "I'll come with you," he says.

I try to act like I don't care. "Sure, whatever. Hurry up then!" Inwardly, I wince a bit, as I watch him nod, frantically jumping out of his chair and tugging on his shoes.

As we both hurry on outside, I watch him force himself to smile.

...

"C'mon Mattie, let's go to Artie's!" I hurry along towards his house, because I know that Mattie will attempt to stop me and if I didn't at least pretend I was going, Mattie may suspect something's up.

His eyes widen a bit and he turns slightly paler than usual. "W-what about going somewhere else, eh?"

I whine a bit, and say something probably trying to convince him that going to Artie's is a good idea, because I definitely wouldn't give up so easily. I watch as he struggles to think of something to change my mind.

"Alfred…" he says slowly, as if he can't believe he's saying this, "why don't I…" he's practically forcing himself to just keep on talking, "I…" he pauses again— c'mon Mattie, just spit it out!— "what about if I treat you to McDonald's?"

I agree, and I grab him and drag him towards the closest McDonald's as fast as possible because Mickey D's is just freaking awesome!

Though as he stumbles along next to me, I watch him force himself to smile.

...

I could definitely eat more but Mattie looks sorta sick— but how? Mickey D's amazing— so we decide to go out.

"That was awesome, right Mattie?"

He doesn't answer, too busy looking at the bill in thinly veiled horror. I take a peek at the bill and—Dang! $73.94 dollars! How the French toast does Mickey D's cost so much? I definitely gonna hafta pay him back later.

"Hey," I tell him, trying to get his attention off the bill, "do you wanna go do something? We can go to the park."

"S-sure," he nods, finally seeming to get over the rather large amount of money he just spent.

"Great!" I exclaim, yanking Mattie towards the park this time and he accidently trips— which is sorta not really my fault.

As he tries to regain his balance, I watch him force himself to smile.

...

We play one-on-one basketball, which I completely and totally won at! The score was like 50-0, me, until maybe like midway through the game, when we both lost track of the score, but Mattie hasn't scored a single point so it doesn't really matter that much. And at the end, I did this wicked awesome dunk! It was epic!

When the game ends, I let out a loud cheer, "Did you see that awesome dunk?"

Mattie practically friggin' collapses in the shade. Okay, I know Mattie's not as good as basketball as me but he hasn't even gotten a single point and now he's collapsing after just a short— okay maybe it wasn't really short at all— game! Maybe he's having an off day? "Y-yeah," he starts to say.

"—I beat ya by like a thousand points!" I say, realizing when I said that that I not only talked right over him but I sound like a jerk now too. "But great game though!" I add hurriedly, trying to quickly fix my previous statement.

"Thanks," he replies, but he's not really listening. He checks his phone, which you lean over to look at. _10:12_. Well, there's still 2 more hours.

"Let's go to the movies! There's this cool superhero movie that just came out! Come on!" As soon as I say it, I realized that I just talked over Mattie again. I'm such an idiot. But he nods, agreeing with my idea.

As we both hurry to the movie theater, I watch him force himself to smile.

...

The movie was epic! The hero swoops in during the last moments and saves the day from the evil genius dude who was out to take over the world. I look at the large clock hanging on the movie theater wall and realize with a start that it's already 11:46. That means only 14 minutes to get Mattie to the party!

"Hey Mattie!" I proclaim as we walk out the building. He jumps, startled. Whoops. "Wanna go to Artie's now?"

"Sure," he replies, looking almost relieved.

We walk to Artie's large, old, stuffy,— face it Artie, that house is stuffier than you. Just kidding!— Victorian-style— or something like that— house in silence, which is just really awkward.

"Soooo…" I begin, dragging out the word to give me time to think, "Where do you think everyone is? I haven't seen anybody all day." Okay, maybe that was a slightly dumb thing to say but really, a normal person— though am I really normal? Okay, nobody answer that. I'm completely, totally, 100% normal… ish— would probably notice that all their friends have vanished from the face of the earth.

He freezes a bit, before answering with "I-I don't know…"

"Oh," I try to think of what to say next, "Maybe there're throwing me an early birthday party! That'll be awesome! What do you think, Mattie?" Nice… I really am an idiot.

"I—"

"—Hey, I just realized whose birthday was today!" Holy fudge. What the hell am I saying?

He looks up at me, clearly surprised. "Y-yeah. Th—"

Nonononononononono. We can't let him think we remembered his birthday. Then the whole surprise would be ruined! Whose birthday is today? C'mon, think, think, think! I got it! "It's Leon's birthday!" I blurt out, "You know, Yao's little brother? They went to China though for the summer so something…" I laugh loudly, and continue to blabber about summer or China or Leon or Yao or something, though I'm really just watching his face, trying to see his reaction.

His face falls. He looks crushed, devastated. And— is that tears forming? Holy chips, I'm such a freaking moron.

"Hey, you okay?" I ask, though it's obvious, to those who know him, that's he's not.

He blinks, once, twice. I watch him force himself to smile.

"Y-yeah, I'm o-okay," I open my mouth to tell him, no, no you're obviously not okay, but he cuts me off, "Look, there's Arthur's house."

I want to so badly just grab his shoulders and shake him until he stops telling me that he's fine, but I don't. Instead, I decide to let it slide. If Mattie doesn't want to talk about, why should he? "Cool, come on Mattie, let's go inside." I reach to grab his arm but he moves away.

"O-okay. You go first. I- I just remembered I need to do s-something." Turning he runs.

"Mattie, come back! Mattie!" I scream his name, over, and over, and over. "MATTHEW!"

He's gone though. And I'm left standing there, wondering how I messed up everything so badly.

...

I burst through the door, and everyone turns to stare at me, horrified at first, when they thought that Mattie was with me, since no one bothered to hide yet since there's still, what, 10 minutes left? 5? They should have been hiding by now! But, that's not important right now.

"Guys!" I shout, and no I'm not panicking— okay, who am I kidding? I'm totally panicking but when you're brother just freakin' ran off, due to the fuckin' stupid things you said, you'd probably be panicking too.

"Where is on petit Mathieu?" someone— I think it was Francis— asked looking somewhat concerned.

"He ran off somewhere!" I holler, somewhat frantically, "I think he thought we forgot his birthday! But we didn't!"

"You git," Artie— I think— says, looking annoyed, "He probably thinks that because of your stupid plan. Go chase after him. We'll finish things up here."

"Got it!"

...

"Mattie! Matt! Mathew! MATTIE!" I already looked through the movie theater— a lot of people gave me weird looks and told me to be quiet— and the park— not McDonald's cause I doubt Mattie would be there— but he wasn't in either of those places. Where could he be? C'mon, think, think, think, think, think, th— I got it! He's probably at home right now! Instantly, I start running as fast as my feet would let me. My face starts to sting from the air slapping against it and my legs are starting to tire, but I ignore it for the most part, cause I gotta find Mattie!

...

I slam the door open. I open my mouth to scream Mattie's name but for some reason, I don't know what, I close it again. Quietly, I shut the door behind me, hearing the lock click shut.

It's too quiet. Everything seems to be at a stand still, as if time inside the house has come to a stop.

It's creepy. Strange how the perfectly normal place that you live in and sleep in and eat in almost everyday can just one day suddenly just seem like the perfect place to shoot a horror movie or something.

I stealthily tip-toe up the stairs, freezing up and holding my breath when the 10th stair creaks slightly under my foot. I let out a hushed sigh of relief before making my way up the rest of the steps.

The door to Mattie's room is wide open. Cautiously, I take a step into it, scanning the room for Mattie. He wasn't there. Instead, I felt something crunch beneath my feet. Warily, I bend down, to see what I had just stepped on.

It was a pill.

Slowly, numbly, I glance up. I see tiny pills scattered all across the floor, the empty Tylenol bottle lying abandoned against the wall. Mattie is no where to be found.

Please oh please dear God or whoever up there or just anyone just please please please don't let Mattie be dead.

I hate myself. I fucking hate myself right now. What kind of shitty brother am I to bring Mattie to think about suicide? How could I not even notice how he was feeling? H*ll, I even don't notice him while he's right in front of me sometimes.

Please oh please I'll do anything I'll be a better brother and I'll be nicer and try to think of others more just please please please don't let Mattie be dead.

And suddenly, I hear a noise. I run towards its source, which was the bathroom. The door is tightly shut, and I gently turn the handle and push open the door. The door swings open silently.

And there, is Mattie. I'm so relieved and happy that I want to just run over and hug him. But for some reason, I don't.

Because… Is that him smiling?

I watch, frozen, just like every other time before, as he tries to force himself to smile.

The smile is so obviously fake, the pain shown so clearly evident in his eyes. His lips tremble, and his shoulders shake. He blinks rapidly, breathing somewhat heavily.

I watch, as his smile falls, and he breaks down and cry.

...

...Mattie... is crying.

Slowly, I shuffle forward, approaching him like I would a scared, wounded animal. He doesn't notice.

Mutely, a circle my arms around him, and he buries his face into my shoulder. I wonder, how could I have done this to him?

"Hey Mattie," my voice shakes, and it sounds small and pathetic in this vast silence, "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry… and…

Happy Birthday."

Mattie— he was always such a better person than me— smiles slightly. "Thank you."

I hug hum, while he cries, and wordlessly, silently, I cry with him too.

I'm not going to be a shitty brother anymore.

* * *

The End.

I told you the first chapter was a fluke.


End file.
